Why We Can Help You With Avoidant Personality

 

If you want to kick the habit of smoking, drinking, or drug use, who do you think would be the best person to go to for that help?

Would it be someone that has never touched a drop of alcohol, smoked a cigarette, or used drugs in their life?

Or someone that has struggled with it and found the way out?

Let me tell you a little story to illustrate this.

Once upon a time, a guy who we will call George, was walking up the road. There was a hole in the road.

George did not see the hole because he was on his cell phone. So as he walked over the hole, he fell in.

For a few hours, George tried as best he could to get out of the hole, but couldn’t get out because it was very deep.

It started raining, and the hole started filling up with water. George was also starting to get very hungry and thirsty.

George started panicking and called out for help. A doctor heard him, and walked up to the hole. George looked up out of the hole and said:

“Doctor, I have fallen into this hole and I don’t know how to get out. Can you help me please?"

The doctor stood there for a minute, scratched his head, then pulled out his prescription pad and wrote out a prescription for some pills.

The doctor threw the prescription at George. George picked up the paper and said:

“Doctor, what am I supposed to do with this? I am stuck in a hole and I need help getting out.”

The doctor said:

“Take 2 of these pills every day for 3 weeks. If the symptoms persist, come back and see me.”

At this, the doctor walked off.

George crumbled up the prescription in frustration and threw it into the water that was filling the hole very quickly.

George started calling out again.

“Can someone help me, please?”

A therapist heard George’s plea for help and came over to George. George looked up at the therapist, and said:

“Can you please help me? I have fallen into this hole and I can’t get out.”

The therapist looked at George and the hole, and said:

“I am very sorry that you have fallen into this hole. How does being in there make you feel?"

George said,

“I'm in a hole! How do you think I feel?"

The therapist then said:

“Let’s talk about your relationship with your parents, and how they made you feel about this hole you are in now."

George then started to think about his mom and dad. His relationship with his dad was not a very good one, and his parents had in fact divorced. George started to think that maybe it was his fault that he was stuck in the hole and not able to get out.

George was just about to start talking about it when the therapist said:

“I am very sorry, but we are out of time for this week. If you wish to continue, please call my office tomorrow and make an appointment with my secretary. We can then pick up where we left off. And by the way, sessions are $150 per hour."

The therapist walked off, as he had a very busy schedule and was late for his next appointment.

At this, George became very depressed, because he did not make that much, and knew that he could not afford this. Plus, if he did not get out of this hole soon, he might not even be alive next week.

George started calling out again.

“I am stuck in this hole. Can someone help me please!”

Someone soon came by, hearing the plea for help, and walked over to George. The man said:

"Hi, my name is Phillip, how can I help you?"

George said:

"Phillip, can you please help me get out of this hole?”

Phillip looked at the hole and jumped right in the hole with George.

George said:

"Phillip, that was really dumb! I need help getting out of this hole, but now you are stuck in here with me."

Phillip smiled, and said:

“George, the reason I jumped in here with you is because I have been in this hole before. I know what it’s like to be in this hole, and I know what it's going to take to get out!”

 

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